Close your eyes Ji… Breathe in… (inhale)… and write…
Looking back at the year, 2017…
There were so many things that made a huge impact in my life.
(I apologize if I lack pictures or if you are not in the picture.)
I got to see a part of God’s wonderful creation which was flying to Bali and backpacking with my brother, and old friend and a new friend. A chance to visit Vietnam all expenses paid of course since I traveled for work!
I lost a dear family member, my grandmother and this made me realize that I should appreciate and show love to my family more often. And through this trial, I was led to a church by a good friend and of course this led to me renewing and deepening my faith in the Lord. Thus participating in a life changing experience called the Ride Against Traffick.
2017 was a year of letting go of many things and most especially letting go of a love. It was a year where I almost quit my job (again!) and staying with this job and getting transferred to a different team but with the same boss.
It was a year of meeting new people, so many people and making new friends, wonderful friends. A year where I discovered joy in hope for the first time, and at the same time accepting trials and remaining joyful still. I learned perseverance. Rediscovering my dream and happiness in photography and writing, which I forgot to pursue even when it was with me at all times. I bought a new camera and a few other lenses too.
In 2017, I know there were many events of friends that I missed. Weddings, births and even funerals and I am very much frustrated that I am not there for any of those important events and can only send them my love and joy through online communication.
This year was also a year of firsts for me. I watched my first concert ever and it was Coldplay and actually finished a 5-km marathon!
Lastly, I started this blog.
Looking back, there are so many things that has happened that made a different person and I feel so blessed even by thinking about it. The year passed by so quickly, in a haze, and now tomorrow, it will be 2018.
Looking forward to 2018…
I am a person who does not look forward. Think forward, yes. But not look forward. So looking forward to another year and another chapter of my life is a rather big step for someone like me who is always stuck in the joy and shadows of the past.
In 2018, I am looking forward to growing deeper in faith and falling in love with Jesus more and more. In helping the church I was called to and serve with all my heart and my best. Very much looking forward to meeting more people and facing my fears, as well as to more travels!
I promise to remain in my current workplace and wait in hope of what God has promised me – though I still do not know what that is yet.
Definitely, I am definitely expecting trials and difficulties in 2018. I can already foresee it.
Of course, in 2018 – I am looking forward to posting more entries in this blog. I promise to be as regular as possible though I have no idea how I am going to come up with 26 to 52 blogs for the whole year! Oh goodness gracious. So help me out ok? Promote my blog, as questions, tell me things, talk to me. I like talking. 🙂
How about you? How was your 2017? What are you looking forward to in 2018?
No, this post is not done yet. I have not mentioned my reflections in life yet. *rolleyes* Let me rephrase those questions above. How about your life? What have you learned this past year? How are you going to turn your life over starting next year?
As I mentioned above, I used to be a person who was stuck in the past and even though I did not let it define me as a person, I longed to be in the past, longed to be back to my “glory days”. Back to where I was happy and surrounded by friends, no major society and adult responsibilities, when I was almost carefree. I used to preach to people to not let the past define you but learn from it and make you stronger so that you can move forward. Learn from the past to be a better and stronger person who’s looking forward. But I guess, I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching, yeah?
This year though, I have begun to let it sink in me. I allowed myself to be stronger, to learn, to do things I don’t want to do and make it my own. Accept challenges and face fears head on instead of running away. I am not perfect at it as yet but I am very willing to develop this mental skill, whatever you call it.
It has made me an optimistically pessimistic person. What does that mean? I just came up with it. Let me explain. It’s BRILLIANT. Just kidding, it’s quite simple really. I, subject A is a pessimistic person that sees the worst, THE WORST of every situation, uptight and too time oriented. I de-stress by organizing things or cleaning stuff, especially the dishes. If I feel stressed at work and see that my drawer is messy due to months of neglect then I will rearrange and throw away things. I know, it’s insane.
But I, now changed am subject B. If I do see the possibility of things and in my own world of logic, am convinced. Make, or try to come up solutions for the problems instead of complaining about it for all eternity. The will to fight discouragement and pray through it and no longer lost in suicidal thoughts and see myself as a worthless piece of living creature wasting Earth’s resources.
I have discovered that I have this pain and empathy for the broken in spirit and the depressed. I knew I was a softie but not to this extent.
So you see where I am coming from, right? I have turned myself around to be a better person.
So I repeat the questions and I challenge you. How about your life? What have you learned this past year? How are you going to turn your life over starting next year?
Finally done. You can move on now. Don’t forget to come back! 😀